Personal Maintenance

There is grief, and then there is autistic grief. >>  read the thinking person's guide to autism here

Our family has been undergoing the assessment process all over again, it has been 2 years since the previous one, and as time goes by the more I feel beaten by this system. Where has my confidence gone? Where did my determination and focus evaporate to?

11 things I do to keep myself happy, sensible, and organized.

* practice the same holistic strategies that are encouraged for the children, there is no shame in borrowing the therapeutic brush, trying out the trampoline, or taking your own advice.

* try to laugh at least once a day, and mean it. Let yourself fall victim to humour.

* acknowledge the truth, that you are only human, and things in life have a greater effect on your body's well-being than you think. That artificial shake in the morning? coffee? did you forget to exercise? how many glasses of water did you have today? remind yourself of these things, and it can set you free from emotional upheaval.

* turn anger and frustration into energy for developing a game plan that will work FOR you when you are drained, burnt out, overtired, or busy. I get compliments on how organized my space is, yet all I can think about is how that other 'energized-and-pushed-into-a-corner' self pulled it off. I can wake up in the morning and know where all my plans are, even if I don't follow them, or use them, I know they are there, and they are intended to support me when I feel weak. which brings me to my next point

* above and beyond all else, be your own advocate. In most scenarios its the parents that have to stand for themselves, the child's needs can be emphasized through the rest of the child's autism team. As a parent, you not only have to keep an eye on this team, lead it, and set goals for it as the child's main expert; but you also need to make sure your needs are being acknowledged and respected as a mother.

* love you. nobody else can love you in the ways you can love yourself.

* keep in mind the magic 3 (before you fall into self-blame, interventions, or action):

1. Diet and Nutrition (are you eating right? is your child? how much do you know about your food choices?)
2. Sleep and Energy levels (did you sleep well, did they? when are your peak hours, when are theirs?)
3. Stimulation and Habits (are you an introvert or extrovert? what of your children? has a habit overstayed its welcome)

* sleep. take naps according to your needs

* be flexible. Your time table needs to revolve around your best possible output, incorporate your needs into your schedule.

* entertainment. whether it is video games, tv, movies, working out, cooking, music, use it when you need it, reward yourself, or provide reinforcement for a task well-done. 

* share. find people who share the same dreams, understandings, aspirations and inspirations as you. take from this, strength, compassion, and solidity.